It's Almost Midnight

It's almost midnight.
Why can't I sleep?
Thoughts are racing through my mind.
Why won't they stop?
Probably because I'm trying to figure out how to "fix" things, how to handle things, how to make it all better.
But, that isn't my job... my job is to pray...to pray without ceasing. To pray boldly and to pray with great expectation. God will handle the rest.
Why is that so hard to do?
Why do I pray and not expect God to answer?
Why do I come to the Father like a scared little girl?
I want to "Let Go and Let God" - I really do!
So why don't I?
I don't know.

Today my heart was broken...
I was given information that hurt deeply.
Information that I should have known...but didn't.
What's done is done, so why do the thoughts still linger?

Tonight Satan was up to his conniving, manipulative ways.
Using unsuspecting people. Or were they?
I don't mean to be cruel. Or do I?
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that Satan might win this battle,
BUT he won't win the war!

None of this makes sense to anyone but me...
but isn't that what a blog is - letting people in on what is on my mind?

It's almost midnight.
I think I can fall asleep now.
Goodnight.